The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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