turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize