we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
