I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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