3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
