Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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