I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
