I am puke
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize