So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
