my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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