had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
