Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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