I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
