he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
