Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
