The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My dick has a subreddit
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
