Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
