Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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