is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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