but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
