Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
