this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
