My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
