i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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