The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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