Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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