yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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