i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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