they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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