Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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