So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
