she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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