I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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