Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
