Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
