i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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