i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
