Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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