Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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