My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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