he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
