i jhust puked up my retainher.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
