oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
