On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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