i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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