He told me they were just razor bumps!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
As shirtless as possible
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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