And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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