Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
