you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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