Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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