either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
