My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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