Just fell off a train. Bad.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
thus making me awesome and them whores
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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