woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
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Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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