Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
