I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
