with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
