I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
