you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
