So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
