Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
