Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
