i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
