I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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