I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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