i just google imaged poop.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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